Mental Reps
Perfectionism to Self-Compassion
“Just Think Positive”
Slow is Smooth, Smooth is Fast
Externalize Anxiety
Perfecting Anxiety
Thought Defusion
Acceptance vs White Knuckling it
Shifting to the Present and the External
Keeping Anxiety on its Leash
Intrusive Thoughts
Safety Behaviors
Rumination is Active
Reassurance Seeking
Challenging Thoughts Too Much
Out of Control
Catastrophizing
Insight and Anxiety
Anxiety is Normal
Short-Term Comfort
Anxiety Loves to Stay Vague
No Fear
The Child Brain, The Parent Brain, & The Grandparent Brain
Out of Control
When we have weird or scary thoughts or body sensations, it’s common to believe, “I’m out of control.”
In a sense, “I’m out of control” is accurate, but not in the usual way we understand this phrase. It’s accurate in the sense that we don’t have control over our automatic thoughts, emotions, and body sensations. It’s nice to believe we can gain full control over these things, but it’s not possible.
“I’m out of control” is inaccurate in the sense that weird, bizarre, scary thoughts and emotions are NOT signs that you’re “going crazy.” It’s a sign that you’re human.
What we DO NOT have control over:
- automatic thoughts
- automatic emotions
- automatic body sensations
- automatic behaviors (e.g., when the brain mistakes a twig for a snake and you jump back)
What we DO have control over:
- non-automatic behaviors
- choosing to engage with automatic thoughts or not
- choosing the meaning behind the automatic thoughts, emotions, body sensations
- choosing how to react to the aspects of us we don’t have control over
The trick is to accept and ride the wave of the parts of us we don’t have control over. The more we try to gain full control, the more we will feel out of control. The less we try to gain full control, the more we will feel and actually be in control. The paradox of anxiety.
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Weekly thoughts on anxiety + articles/video updates
Out of Control
When we have weird or scary thoughts or body sensations, it’s common to believe, “I’m out of control.”
In a sense, “I’m out of control” is accurate, but not in the usual way we understand this phrase. It’s accurate in the sense that we don’t have control over our automatic thoughts, emotions, and body sensations. It’s nice to believe we can gain full control over these things, but it’s not possible.
“I’m out of control” is inaccurate in the sense that weird, bizarre, scary thoughts and emotions are NOT signs that you’re “going crazy.” It’s a sign that you’re human.
What we DO NOT have control over:
- automatic thoughts
- automatic emotions
- automatic body sensations
- automatic behaviors (e.g., when the brain mistakes a twig for a snake and you jump back)
What we DO have control over:
- non-automatic behaviors
- choosing to engage with automatic thoughts or not
- choosing the meaning behind the automatic thoughts, emotions, body sensations
- choosing how to react to the aspects of us we don’t have control over
The trick is to accept and ride the wave of the parts of us we don’t have control over. The more we try to gain full control, the more we will feel out of control. The less we try to gain full control, the more we will feel and actually be in control. The paradox of anxiety.
Subscribe
Weekly thoughts on anxiety + articles/video updates