Positive thoughts aren’t the antidote to negative thoughts. Positive and negative thoughts are equally problematic when they don’t reflect reality. And negative thoughts usually protest when we respond to them with “Just think positive.”

The goal is not to get rid of negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. Instead, it’s to get better at being an observer of our unrealistic, distorted thoughts rather than a participant.

We can’t control our unhelpful thoughts, but we can control how we respond and relate to them.