Self Help & Resources for Social Anxiety

Do I have social anxiety? Being nervous, anxious, or hesitant in certain social situations is normal. If you're human, you experience social anxiety.

Do I have Social Anxiety Disorder? A better question to ask is, is my anxiety in social situations limiting me?:

  • What would you be doing if the intensity of your social anxiety decreased?
  • What would your life look like? What sort of relationships would you be building?
  • Where would you be in your career without social anxiety?
  • How would your day-to-day life change?
  • How would it impact your overall well-being?

If your life would improve, working on your social anxiety is worthwhile.

Here are the basics of social anxiety and how to overcome it:

  • Social anxiety overestimates social threats and underestimates our ability to cope.
  • Social anxiety convinces us we lack the necessary social skills. This is usually not true.
  • Social anxiety tells us to avoid situations that trigger our anxiety. The more we avoid, the more our brain rewards us for avoiding and the more it punishes us in triggering situations. Anxiety is maintained and reinforced the more we avoid. It's a vicious cycle. 
  • Anxiety is not the issue. How we respond to anxiety is the issue.
  • Social anxiety keeps our focus internally: on our thoughts and judgements about others and ourselves, physical sensations, what we will say next, etc.
  • We need to redirect our focus to the external: Just on what others are saying (not on our judgements of them or ourselves), not on our body sensations, just on what we hear and observe. Just on the facts without judgement or interpretations.
  • Anxiety tells us to wait to proceed until we FEEL right or it FEELS safe. This is backwards and anxiety's lie.
  • As long as we're not in real danger (99% of the time we're not), we proceed DESPITE the anxiety. Then the feelings of safety and comfort will follow. 
  • To overcome anxiety, we need to override our misfiring, anxious brain by taking practical steps to place ourselves in the situations our brain tells us to avoid. The more we go against our misfiring brain, the more it will learn, and the less it will misfire. As a result, our anxiety decreases.

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Self Help & Resources for Social Anxiety

Do I have social anxiety? Being nervous, anxious, or hesitant in certain social situations is normal. If you're human, you experience social anxiety.

Do I have Social Anxiety Disorder? A better question to ask is, is my anxiety in social situations limiting me?:

  • What would you be doing if the intensity of your social anxiety decreased?
  • What would your life look like? What sort of relationships would you be building?
  • Where would you be in your career without social anxiety?
  • How would your day-to-day life change?
  • How would it impact your overall well-being?

If your life would improve, working on your social anxiety is worthwhile.

Here are the basics of social anxiety and how to overcome it:

  • Social anxiety overestimates social threats and underestimates our ability to cope.
  • Social anxiety convinces us we lack the necessary social skills. This is usually not true.
  • Social anxiety tells us to avoid situations that trigger our anxiety. The more we avoid, the more our brain rewards us for avoiding and the more it punishes us in triggering situations. Anxiety is maintained and reinforced the more we avoid. It's a vicious cycle. 
  • Anxiety is not the issue. How we respond to anxiety is the issue.
  • Social anxiety keeps our focus internally: on our thoughts and judgements about others and ourselves, physical sensations, what we will say next, etc.
  • We need to redirect our focus to the external: Just on what others are saying (not on our judgements of them or ourselves), not on our body sensations, just on what we hear and observe. Just on the facts without judgement or interpretations.
  • Anxiety tells us to wait to proceed until we FEEL right or it FEELS safe. This is backwards and anxiety's lie.
  • As long as we're not in real danger (99% of the time we're not), we proceed DESPITE the anxiety. Then the feelings of safety and comfort will follow. 
  • To overcome anxiety, we need to override our misfiring, anxious brain by taking practical steps to place ourselves in the situations our brain tells us to avoid. The more we go against our misfiring brain, the more it will learn, and the less it will misfire. As a result, our anxiety decreases.

Videos

Humor

More Humor Videos

 

Exposure Videos