Reassurance Seeking

On the surface, reassurance seeking seems harmless. In reality, it’s anxiety’s fuel.

Getting reassurance that a fear won’t come true is like a drug: We need more of it to get the same level of calming effects as before.

It’s important to remember, reassurance seeking is a form of avoidance and reinforces the anxiety cycle.

Anxiety will lie and tell us a different story though:

  • “Reassurance = self-care”
  • “What’s so bad about getting support from a friend?”
  • “This time is different, we need reassurance because…”
  • “Just one more time. Getting reassurance this way will be the answer we need”

If your intention for seeking out reassurance is to get the truth, arrive at a conclusion, accept uncertainty and take action, then this is likely helpful long-term. However, if the main intention is to reduce anxiety, its discomfort, and attempt to find certainty, more often than not, it’s reassurance seeking and will reinforce the anxiety long-term.

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Reassurance Seeking

On the surface, reassurance seeking seems harmless. In reality, it’s anxiety’s fuel.

Getting reassurance that a fear won’t come true is like a drug: We need more of it to get the same level of calming effects as before.

It’s important to remember, reassurance seeking is a form of avoidance and reinforces the anxiety cycle.

Anxiety will lie and tell us a different story though:

  • “Reassurance = self-care”
  • “What’s so bad about getting support from a friend?”
  • “This time is different, we need reassurance because…”
  • “Just one more time. Getting reassurance this way will be the answer we need”

If your intention for seeking out reassurance is to get the truth, arrive at a conclusion, accept uncertainty and take action, then this is likely helpful long-term. However, if the main intention is to reduce anxiety, its discomfort, and attempt to find certainty, more often than not, it’s reassurance seeking and will reinforce the anxiety long-term.

Subscribe

Weekly thoughts on anxiety + Event updates


By submitting this form, you are consenting to receive marketing emails from: . You can revoke your consent to receive emails at any time by using the SafeUnsubscribe® link, found at the bottom of every email. Emails are serviced by Constant Contact
Upcoming Events
December 2023
February 2024
No event found!