O'Sullivan Counseling Blog

Over focusing on the future and on your internal state (thoughts and feelings) is the perfect recipe for anxiety. Doing the opposite by shifting your focus to the present and external, can be a helpful exercise to practice. One exercise is called 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding: 5. Focus on five things you see around you 4. Focus on four things you can … Read More

Anxiety, just like the average guard dog, is extremely effective at alerting us to real danger. At the same time, it’s terrible with accuracy. It tends to bark at almost anything. Even close friends. Just as you’d never want to let the average guard dog roam freely in your yard or in public, it’s wise to treat anxiety the same. … Read More

Having a weird, concerning, frightening thought doesn’t automatically make it an intrusive thought. It only becomes intrusive when it starts interfering with our lives somehow. The key factor that pushes a thought into the intrusive category is when we give it power. For example: Trying to get rid the thought (the more we concentrate on eliminating it, the more power … Read More

Safety behaviors are subtle actions we take to protect ourselves from perceived threats. Take, for instance, the glass of water on stage, meant to ward off panic attacks caused by throat dryness. Or the avoidance of eye contact at social gatherings, driven by the fear of negative judgment. Though well-intended and seemingly harmless, safety behaviors actually perpetuate the anxiety cycle. … Read More

Rumination isn’t something that happens to us. Instead, rumination is a choice we make to actively engage with a thought. The process first starts with an automatic thought. For example, “What if I blush on stage?” This is not rumination yet. This is simply just a thought that randomly popped up, outside of our control. These thoughts can be compelling … Read More

On the surface, reassurance seeking seems harmless. In reality, it’s anxiety’s fuel. Getting reassurance that a fear won’t come true is like a drug: We need more of it to get the same level of calming effects as before. It’s important to remember, reassurance seeking is a form of avoidance and reinforces the anxiety cycle. Anxiety will lie and tell … Read More

When automatic worry thoughts appear, it can be helpful to challenge them. Most of the time the thoughts are distorting reality, working off flawed assumptions the brain is making, and overestimating threats. Bringing some logic into the equation can be helpful. However, when our goal is to become 100% certain about a worry thought (e.g., “I need to know for … Read More

When we have weird or scary thoughts or body sensations, it’s common to believe, “I’m out of control.” In a sense, “I’m out of control” is accurate, but not in the usual way we understand this phrase. It’s accurate in the sense that we don’t have control over our automatic thoughts, emotions, and body sensations. It’s nice to believe we … Read More

Anticipating likely future events is crucial for our survival. Without it our lives would be a mess. “What if” thinking helps us to avoid predictable, negative outcomes. “What if” thinking is a protector. However, “What if” thinking often goes far beyond what’s likely to occur and tries to figure out all possible negative events. Our mind quickly starts to mistake possible for likely and … Read More

Contrary to the depiction of therapy in movies and TV, gaining insight into our past doesn’t necessarily resolve our present challenges. Imagine seeing a small child run into the road. It’s not very helpful to first try to figure out where the child’s parents are and convince them to be more attentive. Instead, it’s best to quickly stop traffic and … Read More