Having a weird, concerning, frightening thought doesn’t automatically make it an intrusive thought. It only becomes intrusive when it starts interfering with our lives somehow.

The key factor that pushes a thought into the intrusive category is when we give it power. For example:

• Trying to get rid the thought (the more we concentrate on eliminating it, the more power we give it)
• Believing that having a thought increases the likelihood of acting in a way consistent with that thought
• Believing that our thoughts define who we are and what we value

The reality is: thoughts are just thoughts. That’s all.

Imagine sitting at a cafe, trying to enjoy a conversation with a friend while background music is playing (i.e., your thoughts).  If you start analyzing the music, you can’t fully listen to your friend. If you ask the owner of the cafe to turn down the music, they just turn up the volume.

The goal is to simply focus on your friend despite the background music. That’s it.

Sometimes this is easy when the music isn’t very loud or the music isn’t interesting. Other times it’s more challenging.

The paradox: By focusing on reducing the music, we increase our focus on it, which makes it more intrusive. By simply focusing on our goals and our values, despite the annoying background music, what we find is that the music tends to fade away automatically. This takes practice and repetition.